Pixies like myself generally LOVE summer. Heat, humidity, sunlight, fresh fruit dripping its ripeness into the body…warm air means stretchier muscles and deeper yoga asana practice. It means opening, surrendering to slower movement patterns, and languid afternoons of watching light and shadows move across sacred spaces. It means cold-brewed coffee with cinnamon, and ice cream for dinner.
This summer, however, was much MUCH hotter and more humid (and, ironically, dry…so while everything in the air is wet and never-drying, the earth has been screaming in parched depletion), than I have ever remembered. It required a new level of letting go, and ushered in a deep love of peppermint oil blends after cold showers at 9 o’clock in the evening so we could sleep. My skin was covered in a spectacular mixture of sweat and cat fur, always, everywhere. It was intense.
And we moved through it (my husband and I) one day at a time, one afternoon-in-search-of-AC at a time, one cold-dinner-fresh-salad after another. We learned to just give each other room, to not push too hard on each other’s buttons, and to enjoy early morning walks, or late evening chats.
I have never felt the stagnancy and heaviness of High Summer so much, in so many areas of my life. I stopped moving. I stopped practicing yoga every morning, and I stopped making art, and jewelry. I *sort of* gathered herbs and wild treasures, bringing them home, into our nest, to make it feel like we live in a field (rather than a condo), but it didn’t feel like ME. It felt like everything stopped. I felt my life pause, except that of course, nothing actually stopped. My energy changed, though, big time, and it was so different than anything I have experienced before.
And then, right around Lammas, the energy changed. It unfolded in a subtle way, in poetic and quiet moments of grace: the light is heading into the golden of autumn. The air smells like decay, just a small tiny bit, like the harvest and overripe beauty of gathering in. The energy has moved back around the wheel, into a place of feeling productive, and wanting to clear out clutter from the summer as well as start preserving food and organizing for winter. I am finally feeling more of mySelf.
And I realized, as the past week has unfolded from a place of incredible anxiety to delicious graceful abundant flow, that each year, it’s us who grow and change. It’s my perspective that shifted, somehow, and the change that came was (of course) supported by the weather and turning of the year, but also, the change occurred as I was ready to make it.
We are the only ones who can find the treasures of our lives. We hold all of the power, and we have only to decide to re-align, for life to change. Life is a fascinating dance of claiming our power and our Path, while at the SAME TIME, feeling what our world, our seasons, our relationships, have to offer.
Over the next chunk of time, I hope to write more. I hope to give you some inspiration, some recipes, and maybe even a few moments of, “Oh good, I am not the only one who feels this way.”
Thanks for being with me, on the Way,