Each year, sometime in the dark of winter, I choose a focus for the year. I prefer not to choose one word or one goal, but rather, I very intentionally choose a “modus operandi” of sorts…a mantra to touch base with, a lens through which I view my life unfolding.
In recent years, as I have opened and sustained my own business, my words have reflected that: Abundance, Prosperity, Courage, Perseverance…you know the drill. The major things I was looking for became the containers I chose to work through. And that was neat. I developed a strong relationship with non-physical Source energy, and I learned how to let go, stepping into a flow of energy and abundance that sustains me to this day. It felt deeply empowering, and still does.
But then I didn’t know what was next.
I mean, after you attain an understanding of Law of Attraction and start practicing, and you see the dynamic of co-creation unfolding daily in your life, what’s the next place to investigate?
Well obviously, there’s an entire universe to explore. But I wasn’t feeling it.
A conversation with my Mother changed everything. I have an excellent relationship with my blood mother, and she is often the source of incredible perspective and inspiration for me. We were talking about how I stress out about very small things, and really waste energy on big reactions. We talked about the concept of Containment.
Containment is a concept of how I hold my energy and resources. It’s tricky, because to contain, there must be boundaries, but as energetic beings, there is also a simultaneous flow and movement, inherent on every level of existence. So we don’t become hard in our holding of ourselves, or separate from the flow (impossible), but we recognize the wisdom of gathering and resting in a place of fullness. I recognize that I don’t HAVE to react. I don’t HAVE to give, or offer, or play into anyone’s expectations. I can contain mySelf. I can sit back, and watch.
And in the sitting back and watching, I am contented. I am having fun. I am witnessing life unfold, instead of pushing it forward.
So this is my main lesson and exploration for the year. It has started coloring and influencing the quality of my days. I am learning to be OK with Gathering and Holding, rather than Accumulating and then Letting Go. I am investing in quality, rather than quantity. I am taking more deep breaths before reacting. I am not reacting at all.
I am weaving Containment with Contentment and Harmony…knowing that I am nothing without the environment that I am in, and I am never cut off, even when I set boundaries and enjoy them. I am noticing the contrast as Old Patterns come up for healing, and I am blessing them and letting those go.
The interesting part so far, is that with Containment, I am learning what to HOLD ON to, rather than what to let go of, which is the opposite of how I have thought about my self-growth in recent years.
I have wanted to let go of fear, impatience, judgement, lack…all the demons that I imagine keep me small. But what if, instead of focusing on those demons (which keeps them active, and real in my present-self-life), I simply re-tune into what I want to hold on to?
Generosity. Empowerment. Fecundity. Compassion. Connection. Community. Laughter. Love. Service. Devotion.
Can I steep myself in those qualities, saturating my cells with Divinity, until there is simply no-where left for the other things to reside? Can I contain my potential to such a degree, that past-versions simply cease to be?
I’ll keep you posted.